082211

Ticket purchased, Texas here I come.

I am not gonna lie, I'm extremely scared of this trip. This might change my whole life around. Am I ready for that? I've been wanting change for so long, but I've always thought it would be small changes, a new job, a new boyfriend, or a new apartment. This would be a whole new everything- job, apartment, probably not boyfriend though...

And if it doesn't amount to anything, then what? Will I come back to my static miserable life? I don't think so. Hopefully this retreat will also bring some clarity along with new adventures.

Today at work I'm gonna research PR firms and a way to get around. Rental cars are about $33 per day, I don't know if that's something I'll want to do, or if I should just bus it up.

I don't want to sound uber depressing or anything, but all I can think about is what if this doesn't work out? I mean, things can't get that much worse than they already are, but there is always a slim chance...

I'm like a deer in the headlights right now, too afraid to do anything so I just stay still. Why can't I grow a spine? Make decisions for once?

This was supposed to me my showcase for my writing, and it has turned into the Whiney Town Gazette.

I need to get a grip.