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Soundtrack in the beginning today (this is something that I should remember to do each time, it makes a lot more sense).
Wild Horses byThe Sundays. This is a cover of The Rolling Stones songs (which is one of my favorite songs EVER, and it sounds so pretty with female vocals. It's also a key point in Buffy season 3, which is how I first heard the song. Basically, it's gorgeous and I am going to put in on repeat while I write this tonight.

tl;dr Pretty song- press play.



I am almost ready to book my ticket to Texas! Tomorrow I am going to solidify the dates with George, and then press the purchase button. It's scary, but it's a necessary change.

I can do so much better in a new environment. Things have become so toxic here lately. It's become such a burden, and I feel like I have no one to talk to about it, no one wants to hear my complaints and sobs. I messed up at work today, and I was crying in the office. I'm so distracted with everything else going on, I can't even think straight at work. This is an obvious sign that I have to do something about it.

This weekend was a blast, a great distraction from the dump my life has become in the past month. Missy, Dainelle, Kourtney, James, Eric Ma, Keanu and I went camping and white water river rafting. We left on Friday at 3 (the original plan was to leave at 1:30 but the boys were late). We got in around 6 and started setting up. The girls got our tent together super fast (we had practiced the night before to make sure we knew what we had to do) and we started sorting the food and the stove and stuff. There were a few problems, we had the wrong size propane tank so we had to drive to the closest store and get one ($50!!).

We ended up getting super drunk Friday night, and were kind of a nuisance. Saturday we hung out, played card games, waded in the river and I read more of my books. We went to sleep relatively early (11 pm) and were quiet. We woke up early, before 8 which is astonishing for me, and started packing everything up. We were out of there by 1030 and on the road.

Unfortunately it only took 9 minutes to get to where we were rafting, and our check in wasn't until 1 pm- so we had some time to kill. We ate at a local cafe and instantly regretted it (which reminds me,I have to post my reviews on Yelp for the rafting company and the cafe). They ignored us at first, then were out of everything, then served us cold food. It was awful, and the whole place smelled really bad. They had some games, so we played some chess and mancala then walked around a bit more. We were able to go to the rafting company and play in the river until it was our turn to check in and go on our trip, but those two hours were the slowest two hours ever. Finally it was 1 and we got in our boat (after the requisite safety talk of course). Our guide was John and he was very knowledgeable. He even went along with our inane conversations.

We had a great time, and even today, 2 days later, my whole body is sore from rowing. I sat in the front, the wettest seat in the boat. But I loved it. I even got out for one of the rapids and went through on my back with my life vest! Why waste such an ideal opportunity to do something unique? I didn't want to regret any part of the trip, and looking back... I only wish we had taken pictures.

I was a bit grumpy the next day, but I always am when I am tired. Tonight was gonna be my recuperating night, but I also needed to catch up on my shows. So it's 9:15, and now I am in between shows. Should I watch one more Misfits? Or the first part of Falling Skies? Or Alphas? Or go to sleep?

I can't decide. But I know for sure that I want some ice cream, so I'm guessing I'll end up watching Misfits (it's on Hulu, and I love it- Iwan Rheon is my new obsession).

I need to start looking for jobs in Dallas. I need to be able to sustain myself if I want to move out there. I applied for a job today, for the Pier 1 corporate offices. Cross your fingers for me! I have to come up with a clever way to state in my cover letter that I am relocating, and not to judge me for a job because my address says California as opposed to Texas. That will be tomorrow's chore.

I have a feeling I'm going to get yelled at for the doors today, because they were such a mess and I think it was my fault. I'm gonna have to check the paperwork, but I think it's my fault. Ugh, I am so stressed out.

None of my thoughts are cohesive, and anyone who reads this will pick up on that right away. All I can say is, this isn't a polished blog. This is me unloading my brain so I can go to sleep at night. This is me venting my frustrations and complaints so I don't have to nag my friends anymore. This is me keeping track of the things I do, because I don't want to forget them.